Books You Should Not Give As Gifts

Do you have a friend who loves books? Do you love books and want to get your friends and family into reading too? This gift guide is written with the holiday season in mind, and still applies to any and all gift-giving times of year like birthdays, anniversaries, and other celebratory occasions. Having given and recieved many a book in the past few years, I’m uniquely suited to fill you in on the five types of books that you should never give as gifts.

1) Self Help Books

Unless your the person you’re shopping for (your “giftee”) expressly asks you for a specific self-help book, it’s best steer clear of this entire genre. You could get lucky and find the exact book your giftee didn’t know they needed, but the chances of that are slim (especially if they don’t typically read self-help). Miss the mark even a little bit, and you run the risk of outright insulting them.

Messy people (who are comfortable with that) probably won’t appreciate recieving The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. It can easily come across as condescending and critical of their lifestyle. A gift recipient who prides themself on being a highly effective person probably won’t appreciate recieving The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. There’s always more to learn on any subject, but such a gift may communicate that you don’t see them the way that they already see themself. That can be hurtful, which is best to avoid in a gift.

2) Books You’ve Recommended To Them

I’m an avid reader and constantly give recommendations to anyone who will listen. The people who enjoy the books that I recommend are almost always the people are genuinely intrigued by the recommendation and pick the books up on their own. The more I remind someone of the recommendation and insist that they “should” read it, the less likely they are to actually enjoy it when they get around to it.

For that reason if you’re going to gift a book that you’ve read and enjoyed, it should be a book you’ve never recommended to the giftee, and you should have a concrete reason why you decided to gift them that book. Bonus points for writing a note in the inside cover or title page describing why the book is special to you, and why it made you think of them. If the reason is “I’ve recommended this to you and you still haven’t read it,” then you need to reconsider. It’s pushy and will probably turn them off from reading it even more.

3) Books From Amazon

WAIT! I know what you’re thinking. This isn’t going to be the broad sweeping Amazon = bad, local = good argument. Apart from the fact that supporting local bookstores is great for the industry as a whole, there are real differences in quality between the books that Amazon sells and the books that independent booksellers sell.

If you’re getting your giftee a book that is part of a series, it is likely that the version from Amazon will not match the rest of their set. Height differences, cover texture, page formatting, and misprints are all unpredictable variables to consider when buying from Amazon. Here’s an example of a misprint I found on Tiktok:

click here to watch

This is just one example– it can be frustrating for people who care about having a matching series and/or properly printed books, as this happens all too often. Amazon is the cheaper option for a reason.

For very comprable convenience, try bookshop.org. They work directly with independent booksellers to make it really easy to get the right books in the best quality, while supporting small businesses. I made my own wishlist on their website using the “registry” feature, and it’s just as easy as Amazon.

4) Barnes & Noble “Collectible Editions”

Some readers have an absolute favorite book of all time, or a few that really stand out to them. Buying them a special edition of a book they love can be a great way to show them that you know their preferences, support their interests, and want to gift them something of nice quality.

In Barnes and Noble, there are usually stacks and stacks of “collectible editions” of popular books on the tables. In my opinion, they are priced highly without delivering much added value. There are people who enjoy how they look, in which case it may be a good option. However, there are many special editions for popular books that are designed individually by the publishers and independent special-edition-focused companies (Folio Society, The Broken Binding, Juniper, ect.) to do the book justice. Some publishers will include never-before-seen artwork, premium versions of maps (in the case of some fantasy books), and new/different introductions that add a lot to the experience of reading the book– not to mention that they often look a lot better than the B&N editions. Here’s a video from Daniel Greene that goes more into depth on special editions:

5) Books That You Didn’t Like

This falls squarely in the same vein as re-gifting. Unless there is a specific reason why the giftee would like that book, this can come across as just plain unthoughtful. It centers your own desire for the book to get read. The difference between recieving a thoughtfully chosen book and this kind of book is similar to the difference between being told “you can come along if you want” versus “I want to spend time with you.” It reeks of low-effort, last minute, and underappreciation. If that’s what you’re going for, then this makes a perfect gift.